Stiff investors (neil: do not put this on the website, i swear to god, if you put this on the goddamn website i will fucking destroy you)
A product should be like an antique muscle car. Sleek, sexy, sophisticated, and yet somehow reminding you of your dad.
A truly world-class user experience journey, developed in close collaboration with the finest user experience athletes.
We constantly iterate on our ideas, day-on-day, until there is nothing left.
"When I founded MEBRO, I was just a broke college dropout, working out of my dad’s basement, surrounded by the fruits of his million-dollar business and collection of antique muscle cars. But within 10 years, I was able to grow MEBRO into an organisation so lean and so efficient, most of our employees don’t need homes. They sleep below their desks, comforted not by blankets and hay, but by the prospect of creating a project that changes the way that people optimize creating projects.
I’ll be candid: once, I saw Elon Musk at a charity dinner. And I sprayed him with special pheromones in order to make him like our product. Invest now, or you’ll be too late."
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I'M A JERK